The Hank Moody Complex

I initially hesitated to give this blog the title since it refers to the main character from the Showtime series Californication and, though it is amazing, I hesitate to recommended it because it will strip you of a lot of innocence. None the less, I can think of no one better than Hank Moody to title this phenomenon that I personally struggled with for many years.

Hank Moody is a badass, brilliant writer who met a woman and fell in love, but didn't want to marry her because he thought the institution of marriage was dumb. So they lived together for 10 years and had a daughter. He becomes more and more of a chauch when they move to L.A. so she leaves him. Now he is drifting, not writing, not happy, and realizing with stinging clarity and regret that he was a prideful tool and that in his effort to be different or edgy, he pushed away the best things in life.

There is scene after scene where he realizes that the normal, unglamorous parts of life were the best of times. He is alone on the beach while the sunset and flashes back to time spent there with his "domestic partner" and daughter and the voice over comes in, "It was the best of times- if only someone had told me..."
He is dancing with his ex-domestic partner at her wedding to her new man and he realizes he never danced with her. "Why didn't we do this more often?" "You thought it was dumb and cliche." He stands there at the wedding reception after the love of his life married someone else and can feel very edgy.


>>
Be a dick and you too can pick your daughter
up from the house of the man who is marrying your woman. >>








I loathe the cliche and can understand what he was going for. In a lot of areas, avoiding cliche leads to innovation and progress. However, with maturity comes discernment to know where innovation is needed and where things are done by a lot of people because they are good. Everyone poops, after all.

I found that often in our pursuit of individuality, we often reject things and do not participate in others simply because they are popular. With movies and music, this can often be a good thing. But when it comes to people and relationships, we must leave edginess at the door. Trust me, your woman wants to hear that she is beautiful even if you simply say "You are beautiful." You don't need to dress it up or wait until you can say it in a way that makes you feel original. You're mom needs to be thanked for everything she did for you even if you just say "Thanks for everything you did for me Mom." Your friends need to know that you like hanging out with them and like them as people. The biggest tragedy and cliche is some prideful prick who is edgy and all alone with no one who loves him because he couldn't find the edge in saying "I love you."