Why the U.S. will never win the World Cup.

The U.S. is a great country. It is such a blessing to have been born here and raised here. However, there are a lot of things that I do not like about the culture. The main things, is the reason we will always look back and complain about the goal that should have counted against Germany in 2002 because that will have been the closest we have ever gotten.

For better or worse, the U.S. legislates and institutionalizes and regulates out the wazoo. This is good in a lot of situations, but in others it slows down a lot and makes people stupid.

Here in Buenos Aires [and every other country I have been too] things are much less regulated and controlled, such as traffic regulation. Driving in South/Central America is pretty crazy, but you'll note that it works. There aren't accidents everywhere; the cars are old but don't show evidence from major wreckage. The reason for this is that people are not dumb. They can't be. A sort of equilibrium has been reached where dumb people don't drive because they will get powned.

My high school calculus teach, Mr. Pifer, read us an article that was kind of joking and kinda not about how there are so many laws that keeping stupid people from killing themselves off and cleansing the gene pool. In other countries there is a lot less legislation so you have to depend more on a your brain and survival instinct instead of laws. We don't need to think about driving because of all the rules. No one can talk on a cell phone and drive here, they have to pay attention and, thus, are better drivers.

The U.S. is great when it comes being the strong and dominating and methodical. That is why it likes sports like football. Hit the sled enough, run the plays enough, know the play book, run routes in the offseason you will be strong, dominant, well oiled machine. Football is a very regulatable sport.

Soccer is not like this. Soccer is art form. A soccer team is a democratic family that must be of one mind and spirit to win. Scoring goals is a mystical, dare I say, supernatural occurance that cannot be forced. This is why the rest of the world is so much better than the U.S. Children grow up playing in the street, on the dirt drainage field in the middle of their town. They play with a ball, grapefruit, wad of trash, etc. They score how ever they can, whenever they can. Play doesn't stop because it is play, not work.

The legislating, regulating nature of the U.S. has sunk its cold, hard fingers into the youth soccer of our country. Kids don't play, they train. They wait in line to kick a ball at a goal. They wait in line to take a header. They wait in line to learn to trap the ball. Then they get picked up and driven to t-ball practice and then piano lessons and that is why the U.S. will never win a World Cup.